Marriage...

Marriage...
Such a frightening word to me.
Until now.
I see them, after all this time.
Still in love.
I want what they have.
I have learned in this last month,
I need you, I want you, I love you.

Children...
I have always wanted them.
Though I was convinced I did not need a man.
Now I know I don't need one but I want one.
Not just any man, I want you.
I would love my children to grow up with you as their father.
To have a son be half the man you are.
A daughter protected, as I was not.

Forever...
I did not believe in it.
Though now I find myself hoping it's real.
For once I want it.
With you and your family. 
Our own family.
I want this more than anything I have ever wanted.
I want marriage, children, and forever.

Watching

I find myself watching you often.
Constantly amazed by how lucky I am to have you.
Facinated by the fact that some one as good as you loves me.
I am learning from you.
Learning how to trust and love.
To feel this joy without doubting it.
I watch how you are gentle yet still strong.
How you put love in all that you do.
I have learned new things about you.
For instance, you have a certain shine in your eyes reserved for me.
You are one of the few decent people left.
I watch how you always help someone in need.
The love you have for your family, somethings new to me.
More so the love they have for you.
I watch the pride light up their face when speaking of you.
Everyone knows what a good man you are.
I fear I am not good enough.
Though it makes me want to be a good person for you.
I watch how aware of me you are.
It's a new and welcomed feeling.
I watch you as you sleep, thinking about how handsome you are.
I wonder if you know that even in your sleep you stay aware of me.
I watched you fall for me.
Never have I been happier.
I hope to keep watching you the rest of our lives.

These are the things you do for me.

I laugh so much I no longer care that I hated my laugh.
I forget that I am self concious of my smile, therefore I am now always smiling.
Joy comes from deep inside bringing a warmth I had no idea existed.
I believe in myself again, I know I can do this.
These are the things you do for me.

I am doing what I love again, without judgement.
I am honest, completley honest with myself and you.
Facing my fears and my past.
You stand by me no matter what I am doing.
These are the things you do for me.

I am being who I truly am.
I lost care of what others think of me.
I know I have the love a man who loves the true me.
Courage is findings its way back into my life.
These are the things you do for me.

Love is coming back, unconditional love.
Trust is building up inside my heart.
This happiness is breaking down my wall.
The hole inside me is disappearing.
These are the things you do for me.

I remember

I remember our first meeting.
The first time I saw your smile.
The way it lit up your blue eyes.
Talking with you was very easy.
Then we went our separate ways.

Weeks later I came across you again.
From then on We started talking more.
I remember looking for you everyday.
Not even realizing I did.
Until one day you were not there.

The day you were not there I felt...hurt.
I remember wishing all day that I could see you.
Or be able to speak to you.
I missed hearing your voice.
I missed being the reason of that beautiful smile.

Slowly we became close.
I remember telling you I would not fall for you.
I did not know you would be so perfect for me.
Little things, like our games we played.
Or your references to things I always understood.
I knew I was falling for you.

I remember finally breaking down and telling you.
Then you told me you felt the same.
I knew then I wanted you more than anything before.
I never stopped thinking about you all that time.
Now I have you and I love you more than anything.

Lucky

When you walk into a room, you are all I can see.
You are my light from a window in my dark world.
When you hold me I feel as though I can handle anything.
Your love gives me strength to be happy again.
Your patience touches my heart.

When you look at me in my eyes I see it.
You love me like I have never been loved.
The gentle way you touch me.
How you run your hands through my hair.
Things like this make me love you more.

I love listening to your heart.
Hearing how it speeds up to my touch.
Knowing I affect you as you do me.
I love being the reason behind your smile.
Or seeing your blue eyes light up.

You make me feel things I did not know possible.
A happiness that I do not have to force.
This love that comes easily.
You are an amazing person.
I am lucky you are mine.

Letter to her.

Hey up there.

Are you watching? 

Do you approve? 

Do you like me?

Questions like this and many more run through my head.

He does not know this.

Nor that when I touch this necklace I am talking to you.

I don't understand myself why I do.

I think we would have gotten along.

What I hear of you I like.

A sweet woman.

Kind, selfless heart.

I wish you were here.

He does too.

We all do.

I see the love he had for you in his eyes all the time.

Your name comes up and he can't stop smiling.

He misses you.

He thinks the world of you.

I know you made him who he is.

I am thankful for that.

You made him an amazing man.

I hope I get to meet you one day.

Until then I will continue to look to you for guidence.

I hope you will be there for me when I need to talk to you.

Lead me on the right path in my life.

I hope I can be half the woman you were.

What is love?

Love is a slow kiss goodnight

It is anticipation.

Love is an imperfection in yourself not bothering you.

It is acceptance.

Love is passing up an opportunity because the time isn't right yet.

It is patience.

Love is a back massage that starts above the hairline and ends around the innersoles.

It is exploration.

Love is not having to say, "Let's make love", because you know what the other person wants.

It is understanding.

Love is being given an honest chance to say no when you thought you were committed.

It is consideration.

Love is saying the perfect phrase to make a solemn embrace dissolve into giggles.

It is humor.

Love is being told, "Stop and I'll kill you".

It is desire.

Love is reviewing the damage to your living room and realizing personal effects are strewn in a clockwise pattern from the front door to the bedroom.

It is abandonment.

Love is seeing what your lover really looks like for the first time.

It is truth.

Love is knowing what time it is and not caring.

It is joy.

Love is the arms around you tightening their embrace.

It is ecstasy.

Love is telling a person, if you have to leave, you will let them sleep, and being told they would rather be awakened.

It is tenderness.

Love is waking up to find the subject of the dream you were having asleep on your shoulder.

It is where fantasy meets reality.

Love is being there to wake your lover........slowly.

It is sensuousness.

Love is belatedly knowing why you bought a king size bed three years ago.

It is practicality.

Love is two people only taking up a third of a king size bed.

It is closeness.

Love is knowing you gave the extra set of keys to the right person.

It is trust.

Love is saying goodbye and knowing you will be back by mutual consent.

It is faith.

Love is stretching your arms and discovering the real meaning of the word "sore".

It is a lesson in human fragility.

Love is opening your medicine cabinet and finding your toothpaste turned into a pretzel.

It is adaptation.

Love is sitting at the window, looking out, and remembering who you were with the night before.

It is reflection.

Love is hearing the weather forecast for a winter storm, and wishing you could spend it in bed with your lover.

It is loneliness.

Love is stories that will never be told.

It is personal.